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Chuck W.

Birthdays And National Sovereignty

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Some days are just more important than others.  Birthdays are important because it is the day you started directly breathing air on planet earth.  It is the very same air molecules that billions of other life forms inhaled on their first exposure to earth’s atmosphere…something all us animals have in common.

But Nov 30 is special in my world because if I didn’t make it that way, I would suffer guilt as well as more disenchantment from my wife whom I’ve been sharing air with for over 42 years.

By Chuck Woolery (Activist, Not TV Host)

But keeping track of how many laps around the sun we have completed since drawing our first breath isn’t really that important.  One of my favorite ‘Momisms’ that my birthing mother offered me since I’ve been on mother earth is “how old would you be if you didn’t know how old you were?”.   For the past 40 years I’ve LOVED that.  But now that I’m starting to feel my actual earth age, I’m becoming more thankful for every single day, and more aware of every single ache and impending limitation.  The greatest limitation being the last day I or my wife will inhale earth’s increasingly polluted and warming air.

In most cultures it is the man who decides which female he will pursue.  But in our American culture it is the female who determines which male she will choose to put up with — for as long as drawing air in is easier than drawing up divorce papers.

I love my wife, more than she will ever know given my shortcomings at expressing it. And I’m almost convinced that she loves me.  But, love is one of those words that has multiple meanings even within the same mind defining it.

But it’s safe to say ‘love’ is far more than a feeling.  Perhaps viewing it as a commitment to another person’s needs as more important than your own is a male way of looking at it.  What’s a human male who wouldn’t sacrifice his own life to protect his female and her offspring?  The same as a male who would.  Expendable.  Just more so.

So being needed in this culture of excessive wealth is far less important than it used to be in our early years of evolution. Not to say we have evolved very far, but women today simply don’t need men.  But I need my wife.   Wanting to make her happy on her birthday is mandatory.  Doing so?  That’s more complicated.  And best explained with a joke.



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A man finds a Genie who is exhausted with giving three wishes and instead offers the man only one wish.  The man says I’ve always wanted to end world hunger but have never had the power to make it happen.  The Genie rolled his eyes and says “common man!  Do you know how many people are hungry, how many have been trying to feed them for decades?  Do you know far mankind’s view of the world and the future would need to change to end hunger?  What else do you have?”  The man says “Well, I’ve always wanted the environment to be pristine and sustainable for all future generations.”  The Genie moans.  “oh G-d!  Do you really think humans can worship God’s creation more than their own greed and selfishness?  Do you have any idea what it would take to change their frivolous wants short of a world war?  What else you got?” The man thinks for a few seconds and says “Well, I’ve always wanted to know how to make my wife happy?”  The Genie is speechless as he ponders the question.  Then he ask, “What were those other two things you asked for?”

Another joke…  Men were trying to figure out what women really wanted to be satisfied. So a survey was conducted.  Turns out what they wanted most was to be able to eat anything they wanted and not get fat.

Actually, that may actually be a true story.

Happy Birthday sweetheart!  Dinner and a movie with a side of liquorish tonight?

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